How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
