it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Randomize
