remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
