Christians are straight up FREAKS
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
