operation harelip BJ is a go
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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