? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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