scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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