Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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