wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
