is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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