I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize
