call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
