After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
