I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
