Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
