I wanna passion pit in your ass
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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