Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
