You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
