fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
