This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
