so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
