the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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