there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
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