College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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