I got chris browned last night
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She announced her abortion via fbk
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I want a musical about memes.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
