And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
