I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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