He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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