i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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