We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
