How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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