She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
My penis needs a shock collar
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
