Whod you bang
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
