i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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