Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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