dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i just had sex bonerless
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
