just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Randomize
