one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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