If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
