yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
