but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
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