So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
