the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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