we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Is this like a preordered booty call?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
