would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
