remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
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