he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Randomize
