I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
