oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
