i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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